Hermiones Insane Recordings  First Year
by HermioneGrangerFTW
Summary: This is Hermione's weird diary. Read her 'posts' and find out what insane and angelic things she has been doing at Hogass! I mean Hogwarts... Oh and this is about her and her parents in later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter1-Blah Blah and Blah!

{Hi! This is my first Hermione/Parents fic so I would appreciate it if you reviewed. (I'm not telling you to review just saying) LOL.}

Bob: I like pretzels

Me: Yeeess…?

November 34th . Current Position- In my room Time-1am

Dear Diary, today is my first day at Hogwarts! November 34th! You know, right? 34th…November? September? Tricked you, diary! It is actually the 1st of September and I am pissed because I have to sit in potions listening to an ass ramble on about donkeys ears and lacewing whatevers on my birthday! My parents are so gonna freak when they find out about this! I'm calling my agent!

September 1st Current position-Still in my room you asshole stalker! Time-1:01am

Sorry about that! I just went to the shops and bought a new diary after..err…yeah.. So I'm just gonna go and get my makeup on!

September 1st Current position-was that,like, a rhetorical question? Time-1:30

And….done! Ok, now I'm going to put my makeup on! La deee da -5 mins later- Ok, I walked to my dress that is 1 centimetres in front of me! Oh My Googles! I look older! About 23! I'm gonna go eat breakfast now…

September 1st current position-I'm gonna stop these now! Time-2:30am- Y'know? Evening.

Shit! I went downstairs to find my mum and dad! They were, like, 12 years old and they called me mummy! That is just wrong man! Duuude! Don't worry, I went downstairs again in 1 second ago and they were normal. I am my normal 11 year old self now. Time to pack! Nothing happened! I will forget this in later chapters!

September 1st Time- 6:00am

Ok, when I was packing my Mum came upstairs and she was all like "Oh sweety! I love you hunnybun chicken hamster llama song!" and I was all like "Mum! What the hell! You a llama she a llama llama what I need" And then we started dancing and it was so fun! Like, total mother-daughter moment there people!

September 1st Time-10:00

I am on my way to the Station thingy whatever potato! I am so excited! This car smells like cats! Oh, hey! There is an orange cat in here! Oh well. It's not like in 3rd year my hair isn't bushy and my buck teeth are gone and I hardly wear Hogwarts robes and I buy an orange cat and call it Crookshanks and go back in time to save Hagrid's Hippogriff Buckbeak! Woah!

September 1st 10:50

Ooookay! I'm there and super excited! What I meant to say was I am HERE and super excited. Heh. I don't have a rubber. Be back in 10! No, 30!

September 1st 11:20

I kept my word! 20 minutes! Exactly! I am on the train now and I met Harry Potter! And uhh.. whatsis name Weasley! Oh yeah! Ron Weasley! Some poor dude. Oh well! I met Harry Potter! I said that! I'm excited! I said that 2 times earlier! Well, we are there! See you next chapter!

What adventures will Hermione, Harry Plopper and Ron Wheezy have at Hogbum err warts next chapter? Find out soon! Or, if your reading this and its posted, click next chapter! Or you won't see it! :D

Oh and I don't own Harry Potter douches! Not really you guys are so sweet! Like me! Im angelic! With an angelic smile! (_) See?


	2. Chapter 2

**HERMIONE POV**

**There, right in front of me, was..me. Yes, you heard. Me. I started shaking and gasping and I felt anger and envy start to well up inside me. I heard a voice in my head say, **_**Don't tell me you haven't figured out what all this is! **_**It sneered. Suddenly I **_**did **_**figure out what was happening. I was possessed. But, by who? Who could be so stupid and posses someone like me? **_**Awe, you hurt my feelings! Me? Stupid? HAHAHA! **_**I heard his voice again and shivered. I had this under control, I've read loads of books on possessed beings and how to control the spirits inside of you. When that evil man spoke again, I realized there was one thing I had not read that was very important…..**

_**You are the stupid one, Miss Granger. You have not read about the most common thing to do if someone like me gets inside your body…I can read your thoughts, your memories. Your mind….. **_**I was so caught up in this all I forgot about my surroundings. When I snapped out of this, I realized everyone was gone and I was still standing in front of myself. This was a copy of me. It was going to do everything it could to be the real Hermione Granger.**

**Just as this thought rose to the surface of my mind the voice said, **_**You are right my little Mud blood, **_**I gulped, **_**This copy will**__ do everything it can. __**Everything. **__I have sent it to get you so I can posses that body without your stupid little thoughts. I started shaking and shaking. I couldn't stop. This spirit was going to pose as me. All my friends won't know and they will get possessed..the whole Wizarding and possibly Muggle world could be lost forever. I bolted out of the Weasley house and it was only a few seconds before I realized I was being held by a strong hand. It turned me around and knocked me on the head, causing my body to go limp and my vision to go black._

_When I woke up and opened my eyes, everything was still black. "Huh?" I said. Then I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid. I was put in a deep hole, but where? I estimated how deep the hole was by feeling how wide it was. It was fairly wide which meant it wasn't that deep. Maybe I could get out of this mess, and after all that had happened last year. Then, out of nowhere a light appeared. _

_It was a simple little light. Like a torch. I couldn't help but reach out and touch it, and when I did a tingle ran through my body. It felt nice and reassuring, like Ron when he hugged me, I like it a lot, so I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. It stopped as soon as it started and I opened my eyes. When I opened them, I saw that I was in a green, old fashioned room. The walls were outlined with gold snakes. The carpet was a piercing green that hurt your eyes. I took it all in before I opened a nearby door to explore the strange place I was in._

_I walked down the halls of this gigantic mansion, forgetting it was not my home. I opened another door and walked straight into some sort of meeting. Sitting around a long, oak table were about 14 men all wearing black. My eyes turned to about 10 times their usual size. This place I was in is Malfoy Mansion and sitting around this table were a lot of death Eaters. My eyes wandered over to a man with long, black hair. He was looking the other way and when he realized other people were staring, he looked at me too and we locked eyes. It was Professor Snape and he looked very handsome. Some part of me felt rage and I started charging towards him, not knowing what would happen when or if I knocked into him…_

_{A/N- Okay, I forgot the disclaimer so I don't own anything yada yada yada. This is just a practise story so I don't mind if you don't bother to review. I am not writing long chapters cause that would be pointless. Caio, Ciao? I don't know, I'm not French…or Italian…or whatever language that was! Bye}_


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